My friends and I have been talking lately about the qualities we would love to have in a partner. I was talking with a girlfriend awhile back and she said something along the lines of she was looking for her "Knight in Shining Armor". I started to think about that phrase a little more deeply and came the conclusion that in no way do I want a knight in shining armor as a partner. I want a "Knight in Well Used, Dragon Tested, Banged Up and Repaired by the Knight Himself, Dented Armor".
What woman on earth would really want some pretty-boy that only wears his armor for special occasions and requires that it all be polished and primped? I've seen the type. My car is a good example of what it means to be a 'Knight in Dented Armor'. It is a Station Wagon (yes, I am single with no kids). Being a wagon it is eternally useful for hauling stuff around, and its kinder on the environment and easier to park than an SUV. It has been dented to a fair-thee-well due to three years of parking every day on NW 23rd (that, and my friend Molly hit it once with a Land Rover). It has been bottomed out on a camping trip. It has cat hair on the seats and waffle-crumbs on the floor. Yet despite all its abuse it is comforting (it even has butt warmers), has an awesome stereo system, is really fun to drive, and its completely reliable. That's what I'm talkin about! I don't really want some man that insists on always looking good. That's not what its about. I want someone that just IS good, and awesome and fun to be around and a hero in times of crisis.
I have been blessed with amazing parents. One of those parents is my Dad. He has some of the most well-used armor I have ever seen. When faced with a crisis or emergency, or even a mild nuicance he just does anything in his power to fix it, because he likes to fix things. I recently bought an old little house and the cost of energy has been soaring. When I complain to my Dad he shows up with a hot meal, a programmable thermostat, and insulation (the pink fuzzy kind), and a quote on how much it would cost me to put a door between my kitchen and my basement. Now there is a KNIGHT! Love is a programmable thermostat. Now, any girl loves her dad (if she was really lucky like me) and I'm not looking in any sense for someone just like him, but yet... He is great, and some of those qualities I seek out. In emergency travel situations he's flexible. Now, he can also get impatient, demanding, and sometimes swears... but sometimes a little fight is necessary (and occasionally fixes some problems). Sometimes he doesn't get anywhere with it and he moves on muttering under his breath. I'm not hoping for a Knight that LOSES all the time (no wusses here!), but one that is willing to go into the fight.
Now, I'm a peacable person, and I like peacable people. Yet life is brutal. I'm not looking for war in a relationship (in fact I hate fighting). But I am looking for someone willing to battle the elements of the world with me. Even the good relationships require that someone is brave enough to resolve the inevitable conflicts. And then there are all the outside influences of aging, emotional trauma, physical trauma, disease, and other outside relationships. I think we are really here to love each other and help each other out in times of crisis. Sometimes you just gotta go out there and live life and pick up some dents.
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